Archive for February, 2008

This plastic mouth rocks my WORLD!

February 18, 2008

This thing rocks! Never before have I had such a great pseudo-queer experience. You can use this thing all day and night and never have to deal with those lingering feelings of guilt over a little queer fantasy.

I picked this baby up at for only $15 and it is worth every cent. Make sure to get some KY warming lube if you don’t have any because that makes it feel like a real, honest to goodness fag mouth. Just pour that lube into the throat and you’re ready for action. This baby is easy to travel with though the TSA screeners gave me some strange looks when I came back from my visit to New Orleans to visit some buddies of mine last weekend.

In closing, I just want to reiterate that I am not gay in any way shape or form and have never had another mans cock in my ass.


February 12, 2008

I am having a bad winter let me tell you that much right now.

First off, some ASSHOLE broke a window in my car, took a dump on the drivers seat, stole everything that wasn’t nailed down and my insurance company won’t cover it. Now every time it rains, which is a lot this winter, my car gets soaked. When my car gets soaked, then every time I get in it to go somewhere my ass gets soaked. To top it off, I have bums sleeping in it three days a week and there is nothing nastier than a wet bum in your car.

Secondly, I have been getting skeevy emails from some faggot named John Thawley. He is trying to get me to come and visit him and for me to let him suck my dick. For the last time – I AM NOT GAY! – John Thawley you need to stop sending me these fucking emails with your gay come ons because I am not buying it. Take your fag cruising and find someone else to suck dick because I am not gay in any way, shape or form.

Now that I have that off my chest, I am going to spend the lunch hour jerking off.

Have a nice day.


I’ve been sick as a dog!

February 1, 2008

But that hasn’t stopped me from jerking off in new and creative ways. I am not sure what hit me but I have been bleeding out my ass and puking the last two weeks and I AM FUCKING TIRED OF IT! Now that that’s off my chest I can get back to the important stuff like jerking off.

This is a photo of my latest adventure and before you assholes start calling me a fag I AM NOT FUCKING GAY!

Anyway I put on these shoes I found in the foyer of my apartment building and got out my nut stretching gear. Lots of women here in Frisco love long hanging balls and I am only happy to give it to them. I only wear these shoes to get me higher off the ground so my nuts stretch more so don’t even think of calling me a fag for wearing them. They are only for added height.

That is all for now.