Archive for April, 2010

Immigration and Masturbation

April 29, 2010

Having lived in San Francisco for over ten years I would like to say that this city can suck the shit directly from my ass.

I say this because of the fucking retards in city government in this city that are screaming to boycott Arizona because of the AZ immigration bill. AZ should be able to do anything they want to protect their citizens and Gavin Newsom and his retarded board of supervisors need to STFU! If they felt so bad for the poor illegals, they should offer to take all 440,000 of the illegals in AZ and set them up in SF but I don’t see them doing that, do you? They are a bunch of hypocrites, losers and cocksuckers. Literally. Half the board of supervisors spend most of their free time sucking dick and taking it up the ass. I know this because a lot of them frequent SF Jacks and do a lot of their cocksucking and assfucking on the premises. It used to be a cool place to hang out and jerk off but once these fucking political scumbags started hanging out it totally ruined the scene. It’s one thing if someone wants to give you a reacharound because they want to get you off that’s one thing but doing it just to get your vote is sleazy and lurid.

Go AZ and kick those fucking spics back across the border into Mexico. They’re ruining this country almost as bad as the SF board of supervisors and Gavin Newsom.

I think I’m going to go and blow a load on the steps of City Hall tonight.

This Toy Ball is MINE!

April 26, 2010

I am as straight as the next guy here in Frisco but I do like a little gayness when I jerk off as my regular readers know. This brings me to today’s post.

Being unemployed has it’s perks especially in the entitlement heavy enclave of Frisco. This environment not only allows me to sleep in every day of the week but also allows me plenty of time to jerk off and train my asshole to accept large objects. Thank you San Francisco!

I’ve been working on this damn ball for weeks now and finally managed to get it up my ass this morning. Thank god I had a camera handy to record this occasion. It took a lot of crisco and a combination of photos of Jerry Gonzalez and internet gay porn to get this past my tight sphincter. Well, it was tight at one time and now it’s getting as loose as Barney Franks ass I would think. Anyway, I got this damn ball up there and am now working on getting it out. I know it will just come shooting out like a ping pong ball from a Thai hookers pussy eventually and I am just enjoying the stretched feeling it’s been giving me for the last few hours.

This accomplishment calls for a celebration so after I get it out I am headed over to Jason’s place and we’re riing out bikes down to the Castro for some food and drinks.

I am BACK and ready to PARTAY!

April 21, 2010

I haven’t been taking my blogging duties very seriously this year and for that I have to apologize.What I have been taking seriously is jerking off and for that I say “Fuck you sir!”

So my weeks have been pretty busy lately. I have been getting up at noon and starting my days off like an unemployed slacker which is exactly what I am these days. I thought Barack Obama was going to change that but so far that good for nothing, shit eating fuck hasn’t done a goddamn thing besides fucking over our country. And I actually voted for him but I sure as fuck won’t be voting for him in 2012.

Enough about that Obama fuck and back to jerking off. So I have recently gotten into jerking off on rooftops thanks to my good friend Jason. He introduced me to rooftop masturbation while we were out on a bike ride. We had been in the Haight smoking dope in the Panhandle and decided to ride over Clayton and into the Castro for a beer. I can’t hang in the Haight for too long because I can’t stand dirty hippy stank. Those fuckers always smell like urine and sweat and it makes me want to puke.

Jason and I rode over Clayton and dropped into the Castro and stopped by his buddy’s place for a few drinks and poppers. I think his buddy might be gay. Jason grabs me and says, “Let’s go to the roof.” with that smile I have come to know as meaning lets jerk our penises off.

I hadn’t jerked off on a roof so this was new to me and I was sporting wood by the time we got to the roof. Jason whipped out a tub of Anal-Eze (no shit it’s really called that but it works great for jerking off) and we both lubed up our penises and started stroking. I hadn’t jerked off in a couple hours by then and I was ready to blow in about ten strokes. I decided to go to the edge of the roof and blow my load over the edge and onto the sidewalk below. What a rush! I was just about to let loose when I heard people screaming and clapping on the sidewalk below. I looked down and immediately blew my load down on to them and they didn’t even get out of the way! WTF? One guy actually tried to catch some of my load in his mouth and another guy licked some of it off the mailbox.

Fucking weirdos. Only in Frisco. I wish I had a picture but I didn’t have my camera with me so I am posting a photo that I like to jerk off to.