Obama Fooled Me Again!

So I woke up a few minutes ago with my dick in my hand and went over to the computer to find some porn to get busy with. When my screen came up it was on Drudgereport.com and I saw this bastion of masculinity and decided to look no farther for my morning encouragement. I was almost there and then I saw the pearl necklace and realized that this wasn’t a dude! I stopped immediately and read the article that it went to and goddamn if I hadn’t been fooled again! The first time this happened was when Janet Napolitano first came in to the news.

WTF is it with Obama and these burly women who look like dudes? I mean seriously? These women that Obama appoints all look like fucking Charles Bronson if you ask me.

And that gives me a good idea who to jerk off to this morning. Charles Bronson get ready for a load of Mitch!



UPDATE: After jerking it twice to Charles Bronson in Chato’s Land I went back to the photo of the “man” above and managed to rub one out without too much trouble. I am going to try it again before I go out tonight and may go with the jar of peanut butter method and see how that works. I don’t think I’ll bother with using any more of Obama’s manlike appointments to jerk it to unless Rahm comes up by accident. He’s actually a little too effeminate for me.

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8 Responses to “Obama Fooled Me Again!”

  1. GrizzlyBear Says:

    The only reason that I go to thesuperficial.com these days is to see if you’ve left another hilarious post, and now I see that you’ve created your own website!! You’re the man, Mitch.

  2. GrizzlyBear Says:

    P.S. I hope you become the next Internet sensation like Justin Beiber. Except that kid gives me the creeps. I’d rather have a random Japanese man run up to me in a park and blow a load on my pantsuit than have to look at that ugly kid’s Lego teeth.

  3. kayincali Says:

    Mitch I want to jerk you off until you blow your load all over my face! I would love for you to desecrate me at the spot where the Mojave cross used to be.

  4. mitchhaase Says:

    Thank you GrizzlyBear, I appreciate you support.

    Please spread the word and check back to my strictly heterosexual blog.



  5. muchspace Says:


    Have you ever participated in any masturbate-a-thons? I hear they have one every year in San Francisco. The Japanese apparently win every year, they say it’s because they have small dicks. A Japanese guy holds the world record for masturbating at 9 hours. How would you Mitch go up against the Japanese and bring home the gold to America?

  6. mitchhaase Says:

    Of course I have and I blogged about it. That fucking jap with the red cock tubes won hands down but what else can you expect. The japanese are so fucked up in the head that it takes a lot for therm to get off and there wasn’t any dead octopus anime porn on hand at the SF masturbate-a-thon.

    As far as my masturbation habits go, I can blow loads all day long but I sure as fuck can’t drag it out over nine hours.

    I’ve got some cock to take care of now and I think I’m going to stick it right in the fresh gallon of Crisco I got at Costco the other day. All you have to do it stick something into the center to make a hole, stick your cock in and start working that can.



  7. muchspace Says:


    You rock!

  8. mitchhaase Says:

    Fucking A right I do! I appreciate that you can see that.

    Be sure to tell your friends about me and I’ll see you at a masturbate-a-thon someday soon.

    Yours in masturbation,


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