Archive for the ‘Muslim queerness’ Category

Goddamn it’s fucking early

June 8, 2010

My fucking faggot neighbors woke me up with screaming and assfucking sounds at FIVE FUCKING AM!

What the hell is wrong with these people. I could care less if you are a faggot who needs to get some assfucking in before work but DON’T FUCKING SCREAM LIKE A LITTLE GIRL WHILE YOU ARE GETTING YOUR ASSHOLE REAMED OUT BY YOUR BOYFRIEND. These inconsiderate fucking people are still going at it as I post this which tells me that the little bitch taking it in the ass must be stretched out like a San Francisco city supervisor. Who the fuck can go at it for a fucking HOUR! The last bitch I tagged in the ass had me sucked dry in less than 30 seconds.

Since I am up so early I am going to try something special today. I am not going to jerk off until noon and when I do jerk off at noon, I am going to do it at the windmill in GG park. The windmill is a cool place to meet up with other guys who like to jerk off in public. I think a lot of them are homeless because they smell like decaying fecal matter and stale urine but I kind of like that smell. I like the smell of skunks too because it reminds me of good Humboldt green.

On a side note, I was out last night and saw this chick in a bar in Noe Valley and she was running around in just her bra and a short skirt!. I was getting pretty fucked up and was going to try and hit it but another dude beat me to it. It’s just as well because I would have had to buy her breakfast and drive her home and I hate that shit. I just want to blow my load and go to sleep and have them gone in the morning, hopefully without my wallet.

Helen Thomas – GTFO!

June 8, 2010

Thank god this bitter old cunt has been fired. If there was ever anyone who deserved it more it was Helen Thomas. They ought to strip her of any award she has ever won and if she has a pension, she ought to lose that too. This fucking old hag deserves to burn in hell for eternity.

Something that I haven’t heard anyone mention yet is her similarity to Herbert on Family Guy. Just wanted to say that I am the first to bring this up.

And yes, I did jerk off today. Five times. Three times onto the sidewalk below my front room window. Twice onto Bob Bechels face on the TV.

Later,

Mitch

Obama Fooled Me Again!

May 10, 2010

So I woke up a few minutes ago with my dick in my hand and went over to the computer to find some porn to get busy with. When my screen came up it was on Drudgereport.com and I saw this bastion of masculinity and decided to look no farther for my morning encouragement. I was almost there and then I saw the pearl necklace and realized that this wasn’t a dude! I stopped immediately and read the article that it went to and goddamn if I hadn’t been fooled again! The first time this happened was when Janet Napolitano first came in to the news.

WTF is it with Obama and these burly women who look like dudes? I mean seriously? These women that Obama appoints all look like fucking Charles Bronson if you ask me.

And that gives me a good idea who to jerk off to this morning. Charles Bronson get ready for a load of Mitch!

Later,

Mitch

UPDATE: After jerking it twice to Charles Bronson in Chato’s Land I went back to the photo of the “man” above and managed to rub one out without too much trouble. I am going to try it again before I go out tonight and may go with the jar of peanut butter method and see how that works. I don’t think I’ll bother with using any more of Obama’s manlike appointments to jerk it to unless Rahm comes up by accident. He’s actually a little too effeminate for me.

This Toy Ball is MINE!

April 26, 2010

I am as straight as the next guy here in Frisco but I do like a little gayness when I jerk off as my regular readers know. This brings me to today’s post.

Being unemployed has it’s perks especially in the entitlement heavy enclave of Frisco. This environment not only allows me to sleep in every day of the week but also allows me plenty of time to jerk off and train my asshole to accept large objects. Thank you San Francisco!

I’ve been working on this damn ball for weeks now and finally managed to get it up my ass this morning. Thank god I had a camera handy to record this occasion. It took a lot of crisco and a combination of photos of Jerry Gonzalez and internet gay porn to get this past my tight sphincter. Well, it was tight at one time and now it’s getting as loose as Barney Franks ass I would think. Anyway, I got this damn ball up there and am now working on getting it out. I know it will just come shooting out like a ping pong ball from a Thai hookers pussy eventually and I am just enjoying the stretched feeling it’s been giving me for the last few hours.

This accomplishment calls for a celebration so after I get it out I am headed over to Jason’s place and we’re riing out bikes down to the Castro for some food and drinks.

This is My Waterloo

February 5, 2010

As most of you know, I can blow a load just walking on a slanted sidewalk but I have met my match. This fucking beast has been the only thing that has ever made my cock go as limp as an overcooked piece of angel hair pasta.

I watched Jersey Shore or whatever the fuck it’s called over at a friends house and they dared me to rub one out to this Snookie beast. Always one for a challenge I took the bet and put some money on it figuring it would be an easy five bucks. No sooner than I started to whip out my dick it became obvious that this wasn’t going to be happening. My fucking cock decided to play turtle on me and disappeared into it’s © groincave and wouldn’t come out for anything.

I’d sooner fuck a stray dog with rabies than this Snookie beast.

Fuck me!

Queers are responsible for terrorism

June 21, 2007

The proof is in the pudding:


Arrests at Jerusalem gay parade

A Gay Pride march in Jerusalem has been taking place amid tight security, sparking fierce protests among the holy city’s religious communities.

An ultra-Orthodox Jewish man was arrested for planning to bomb the parade, Israeli police said.

Fifteen other people were arrested for throwing stones at police after Israel’s High Court rejected an appeal by religious groups to ban the march.

More than 7,000 police were deployed to secure the parade to prevent clashes.

Israeli police spokesman Micky Rosenfeld said officers found an explosive device in the bag of the alleged bomb plotter.

“He admitted he planned on planting it on the route of the parade today,” Mr Rosenfeld said.

Personally I am not gay and I have never had my dick in another man’s ass. The way these queers always want to get their queerness into everyones face is causing more problems for the world as far as terrorism is concerned. Queerness in public is even causing non-muslims to plant bombs.

The queers in the western world ought to do what the Arab and Muslim queers do and that is keep it to yourself. It’s common knowledge that most Muslim men like to have sex with young boys, it even tells them to cornhole young men in the Queeran. What they don’t do it hold parades and fuck in the streets like animals they way they do here in Frisco and over there in Jerusalem.

You have to draw the line somewhere and I think Fred Phelps is a good man to be drawing them. He is a prophet though we can learn a lot from the oldest queer community in the world, Islam.

the moral of the story is to be queer if you want but keep it your own business. Nobody wants to see queer sex in public unless it is at a masturbate-a-thon. Then it is fine with me because I like a little queerness when I jerk off.