Posts Tagged ‘jerking off’

Randy Rhodes – Best comedian I have ever heard!

April 1, 2014

I can’t believe I didn’t who this dude was before this week! Holy christ he is funny as shit!

This morning he was talking about global warming and how some scientific group was totally right on about how it was going to cause us all to drown if we lived anywhere near the coast. He said this scientific group was 100% correct because they had won a NOBEL PEACE PRIZE!

That right there was the punch line. Remember how those fucknuts gave Obama the Nobel Peace Prize a couple weeks after he had taken office in his first term. That right there told me that the Nobel peace prize was about as accurate as a retard with a broken calculator.

Anyway, I implore you to listen to this Randy Rhodes dude. He is funny as hell in the same vein as Phil Hendrie. He actually gets people calling in and agreeing with him about these totally absurd topics. He was goin on about Obamacare and how awesome it was and some woman call in and was agreeing like she believed it all. She had to be in on the gag because nobody is that stupid.

It’s been a long time since I had a post but between you and I, I just got tired of the bar scene in Frisco and was just sitting on my ouch thinking of new ways to get off. I promise I will be a little more active here now that I am back to my normal old self.

Peace out,

Mitch

Obama Fooled Me Again!

May 10, 2010

So I woke up a few minutes ago with my dick in my hand and went over to the computer to find some porn to get busy with. When my screen came up it was on Drudgereport.com and I saw this bastion of masculinity and decided to look no farther for my morning encouragement. I was almost there and then I saw the pearl necklace and realized that this wasn’t a dude! I stopped immediately and read the article that it went to and goddamn if I hadn’t been fooled again! The first time this happened was when Janet Napolitano first came in to the news.

WTF is it with Obama and these burly women who look like dudes? I mean seriously? These women that Obama appoints all look like fucking Charles Bronson if you ask me.

And that gives me a good idea who to jerk off to this morning. Charles Bronson get ready for a load of Mitch!

Later,

Mitch

UPDATE: After jerking it twice to Charles Bronson in Chato’s Land I went back to the photo of the “man” above and managed to rub one out without too much trouble. I am going to try it again before I go out tonight and may go with the jar of peanut butter method and see how that works. I don’t think I’ll bother with using any more of Obama’s manlike appointments to jerk it to unless Rahm comes up by accident. He’s actually a little too effeminate for me.

This Toy Ball is MINE!

April 26, 2010

I am as straight as the next guy here in Frisco but I do like a little gayness when I jerk off as my regular readers know. This brings me to today’s post.

Being unemployed has it’s perks especially in the entitlement heavy enclave of Frisco. This environment not only allows me to sleep in every day of the week but also allows me plenty of time to jerk off and train my asshole to accept large objects. Thank you San Francisco!

I’ve been working on this damn ball for weeks now and finally managed to get it up my ass this morning. Thank god I had a camera handy to record this occasion. It took a lot of crisco and a combination of photos of Jerry Gonzalez and internet gay porn to get this past my tight sphincter. Well, it was tight at one time and now it’s getting as loose as Barney Franks ass I would think. Anyway, I got this damn ball up there and am now working on getting it out. I know it will just come shooting out like a ping pong ball from a Thai hookers pussy eventually and I am just enjoying the stretched feeling it’s been giving me for the last few hours.

This accomplishment calls for a celebration so after I get it out I am headed over to Jason’s place and we’re riing out bikes down to the Castro for some food and drinks.